Manishevitz Hangover

Ever get home from shopping for all of those things you just just had to have and suddenly regret your lack of willpower? Or get your credit card bill at the end of the month and feel like you've been punched in the stomach? What have I done? What possessed me to spend this much money? How am I going to pay for this stuff? Some people call it "buyer's remorse." I call it the "Manishevitz Hangover."

I have a "blended" marriage. I'm a Christian and my husband is Jewish. Being in a blended marriage means (among other, much more complicated things) lots of holidays to celebrate. The good news is that we never have to fight over who to spend Christmas with. His parents get Thanksgiving, mine get Christmas. His mom hosts the Passover Seder, I host Easter dinner. All in all, not a bad deal, and my kids get to learn about a lot of different traditions.

Every year at Passover, my mother-in-law brings out a bottle of Manishevitz wine. If you've never had it, it's Kosher wine (means it was blessed by a Rabbi) and it is very sweet. Pour about 47 sugar packets into a glass of regular white wine and you'll get Manishevitz. I've never had more than 1 glass at any given time, but I really do like this wine.

A friend of mine (who is not Jewish) works at a liquor store and was asking me how long Passover was, so she would know how much Kosher wine to order. I told her to try the Manishevitz, but not too much, as I can only imagine the hangover that could result from not only the alcohol, but the very high sugar content. Sounds like a bad combination to me!

So I'm thinking about this wine, and how much I like it, and how easy it might be to drink a lot of it. Why don't I? Why do I always stop at 1 glass when it tastes so good? It's because I'm scared of the hangover. Sure, I've been hungover before in my early 20's... but the Manishevitz Hangover? At my age? No, thanks.

Hhhmmm.... am I being a chicken? Missing out on something I really like because I'm scared of the consquences? When I'm not even all that sure about the consequences. Maybe Manishevitz has a very low alcohol content and I wouldn't even get a buzz. Maybe if I slept long enough after, I'd feel fine in the morning. What else am I missing out on because I'm scared of the unknown?

There have been plenty of times in my life that I could have missed an amazing opportunity if I'd allowed my "what if" fears to take over. For example, my husband and I (he was my fiance at the time) used to live on Long Island (New York). A friend from work invited us to spend New Year's Eve 2000 (1999 into 2000) at a restaurant she had rented out in Times Square. In New York City, watching the ball drop, in person, for the millennium. Wow! My fiance/husband couldn't wait. Me? Scared out of my mind! Remember, this was back before 9/11, when everyone thought the terrorists would attack at the stroke of midnight for Y2K. Be right there in the middle of it? No, thank you. But alas, my fiance/husband convinced me that it was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, one I'd never see again and hey, if the world was indeed going to end, at least we'd go together, with smiles on our faces. So, I went. Clearly, the world did not end, and I can't believe I even considered missing it. I'm thankful I didn't let my fear win on that one.

Fast forward a few years and now my husband and I live in South Florida. We have good jobs with decent incomes. Certainly far from rich, but nowhere near "just scraping by." We work hard for everything we have and certainly aren't in need of anything. We're very "middle" middle class. Yet when I drive down the road and see all the "New Homes Starting in the $600's" signs, or see the neighbor's new Mercedes SUV, I sometimes can't help wondering what we're doing wrong. We have good jobs, are financially responsible, yet we can't afford any of that stuff that everybody else seems to be able to get so easily. What's wrong with us???

I read a statistic that in 2005, the average American had a savings rate of -.5% per year. Yes, negative savings. That means that the average American spends more than he earns. How do you spend more than you have? Well, you either win the lottery, dip into your savings account, or buy things you can't really afford on credit.

I know (because I've been there myself) that sometimes, you have to buy things you can't pay for at the time -- gas, groceries, emergency root canal, clothes for a job interview. I'm not talking about these situations or these people. I'm talking about the people who have a choice.

I'm venturing to guess that a lot of these "average" Americans are buying things they don't need on credit. I'm guilty of this, too. Another pair of black shoes, the Venti size coffee, clothes my kids don't really need. Here's the thing, though... need or not, practical or not, I never buy something unless I know I can pay for it... and when I can pay for it. Period. Yes, I'm fortunate to be in this situation, I know not everyone is. But if I wasn't? You can better believe the shoes, the Venti and the clothes would stay right there at the shopping mall.

Add to this the housing market which has cooled off recently and the record number of foreclosures, especially here in Florida. Why? Because people bought houses they couldn't afford, or took out an interest-only loan and now they can't make the payments. They're left with nothing but an ugly credit report. Did they need the 5 bedroom house with a pool, or would a 3 bedroom have suited their needs? Did they need a Mercedes SUV, or would a Honda have done the same job?

What I don't understand is why people (the ones who do have a choice) indulge in things they can't afford. Why they drink the entire bottle of Manishevitz, sweet and smooth as it is, when there's surely a hangover on the way in the morning?

My husband and I often discuss this, and if maybe it's us that's wrong. Maybe we'd be a whole lot happier if we just "lived the good life" and bought whatever we wanted. Why not drive a Lexus instead of a Honda? Why not upgrade to the 5 bedroom house instead of the 4? Why not take fancy vacations and wear designer clothes instead of counting every penny and making sure we're putting money into our 401k's every week? Wouldn't we have a lot more fun? You only live once, right? Why can't we just loosen up and enjoy it? Why? I'll tell you why... we're scared of the consequences. Scared that we'll get into debt we can't recover from. Scared that we'll still be working when we're 70. Scared that our kids will have to pick up the pieces. Scared that one more glass of that Manishevitz and we'll wake up one day with the reality of a killer hangover.

This is not to say I'm a penny-pinching tight-wad. Far from it. I try to balance "responsible" with "makes me happy." But the things that make me happy include buying $3/yard fabric at Walmart that I may or may not ever sew into something useful, or picking out matching clothes at Target for my girls that they may or may not wear more than once. For my husband, it's his high-definition cable and Disney DVDs for the kids. We know what our "means" are and we choose "stuff that makes us happy" that falls within that range. Are we short-changing ourselves? Missing out on happiness? Maybe.

What's the right way to go when it comes to indulgence? Live for the moment, or live for the future? If you're talking about dark chocolate, I'll live for the moment every single time -- I'll worry about my waistline another day. But if you're talking about my money? I'm not so sure of the answer.

What's the moral of the story? There isn't one. Everyone makes this choice for himself. Maybe I'm right, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe my philosophy will change, who knows? I guess only time will tell. Would I like another glass of Manishevitz while I wait? No, thanks, the first one was plenty.