What's wrong with women?

The dress code where I work is "business casual." Depending on the weather, what kind of mood I'm in, how many times I've hit snooze and what's clean, my outfits for work can range from khakis and a fancy t-shirt to a suit. I give very little thought to what I wear to the office, I just try to make sure it's not too short, too tight or too wrinkled.

A few weekends ago I went to the mall. It took me at least twice as long to get ready to go shopping as it does to go to work. I tried on at least 3 pairs of pants, 2 pairs of shoes and half a dozen shirts before I found just the right thing. Had to put on jewelry. Had to do my hair. Not just the quick "pull it back" thing I'd do for work, but I had to bring out the hair gel, scrunch it, dry it, the whole nine. Then I put on makeup. Not just foundation and blush, but mascara, eye liner and lipstick. Then I touched up the polish on my toes. I didn't expect to see anyone I knew, yet I spent twice as long getting ready, trying to look good for strangers, as I do to go spend the day with people I do know at the office. Why? Because there's something wrong with women!

Yes, that's a pretty broad generalization, and it may sound offensive. But I'm willing to bet that there's not a woman on this planet who can honestly tell me they've never done this before. And if you tell me you haven't, I probably won't believe you. Maybe not all the time and maybe not to go to the mall, but you've done it to go someplace, we all have.

Why is this? Why do we do it? Clearly, there's something wrong with women.

I'm happily married. I'm not looking to get hit on while I'm out, or even for men to look at me. I honestly couldn't care less. You know why I get all dolled up? The same reason you do. Every woman wants to impress other women. This is a tough thing to admit, and you might be calling me names and denying this right now. But every woman wants to look at least as good as, maybe even better than, the other women. We want to walk through the mall and think, Wow, I look a LOT better than she does. And if you see someone else that you know is clearly better put together than you are, you notice that to. It's true! I'm not talking about being jealous that the lady in Macy's has the expensive new Coach bag or the giant diamond earrings. I don't care about that stuff. It's not about material possessions, it's about the self esteem boost you get when you're able to look at someone and say to yourself, I can't believe she went out in public looking like that!

You know what I mean. You've walked through a store or been at the park or just driving down the street when you see another woman dressed in something that you think is completely inappropriate. You've had this thought: Holy cow, do you see what that women is wearing?!?! There's a good chance you've even nudged the person next to you and motioned with your head Hey, get a look at that one! Can you believe it?? You might have even told someone about it when you got home. You are not going to believe what this lady at the mall was wearing!

Why? Why do we women do this? I'm venturing to guess that men don't do this nearly as much, if at all. The only time I can see my husband or my brother even noticing another man's clothes might be if the other guy was wearing a Mets jersey (sorry folks, we're Yankees fans!). So what's wrong with women? Why do we care?

Let me say, for the record, that I'm not talking about women being oppressed or feminism or women's liberation movements. I believe that I'm equal to men in pretty much all aspects of my life and have no trouble asserting myself as such to anyone who might think otherwise. I have a brain, just like a man, and though I show this daily through my actions, I don't feel the need to "prove" this to anyone. Moving on...

So why are women like this? I'll tell you why... Men made us do it! Yes, again, I don't believe that men rule the world and we have to do what they say. But for hundreds of years, men were in charge and women were second class, submissive citizens. It was our place and our job for so long to do what men wanted us to do, that we began to equate looking good (which was, I'm sure, originally done to please men) with our self worth. If I look good and I keep my house neat and make hot meals every night and take good care of the kids, my man will be happy and he will love me. This is not to say that women who are able to do that don't deserve a medal, by the way. I don't cook, I don't dress up beyond shorts and a t-shirt at home and my house doesn't get dusted nearly enough. Any women who can do all of these things is very high on my list of role models, for sure! However, I hope these women do these things because they want to do these things, and not because some man is telling them that's what makes them a worthwhile woman.

It doesn't matter a bit how you divide responsibility in your home. Maybe your full-time job is the house and the kids. Maybe you work outside the home and your partner manages the home front. Maybe you both do both. That's not the point. The point is, whatever your personal situation, you should be equal to your partner, period.

I totally get why single women, college age women and anyone else who's "out there looking" might spend the extra time getting dolled up to go to someplace as simple as the mall. But the rest of us? Why do we do it? Because for so long, men said we had to. And so much worse than that is now that women are, by all accounts, equal to men, and appearance is no longer the only available criteria on which to "judge our worth," we're still doing it to ourselves. We are perpetuating it! It stopped being about impressing the men and it became about impressing the other women. Sad, isn't it?

Here's how I see it. It's all about perspective, right? The next time you see a woman in sweats and a baseball cap in a public place, erase this thought: Wow, do you see what she's wearing? That's the best she could do? Instead, replace it with this one: Wow, there's a lady so confident in herself that she can wear sweats to the mall and not even care. She doesn't have to impress anyone.

Better yet, let's declare May to be "sweatpants and ponytails in public" month. Yes, you heard me. Instead of getting dressed up to go out to someplace that really doesn't matter anyway, let's throw on a pair of sweats, maybe a baseball cap, and stop trying to out-do each other. The first time might be difficult and you'll feel uncomfortable when you first see another woman who's all dolled up. But remember -- she's only dolled up to impress you, and you don't care!