At what age?

Here in the U.S., we drive on the right side of the road. (Well, drunk celebrities don't count... we're talking about average people here.) On a road with 2 driving lanes, the right is the "average speed" lane and the left lane is for passing. On a road with 3 or more driving lanes, the right lane is for the slow-pokes, the middle is for average speed, and the left, well, still the passing lane.

This morning on my way to work (3 lane highway), I watched a giant white Cadillac enter the highway from an on-ramp on the right side of the road. Rather than staying in the right lane until he picked up speed and could safely move left, he proceeded to cut across the right lane, then the middle lane, then into the left lane, paying absolutely NO attention to the fact that he was cutting people off and going about 30 mph slower than everybody else while doing so. A car in the right lane honked at him, a car in the middle lane had to swerve to avoid him, and I (in the left lane) had to slam on my breaks to avoid rear-ending him as he cut me off and then proceeded to break until he was down to a speed of about 40 mph... on a road with a 65 mph speed limit.

Once my heart started beating again (flashback to car accident in February), I signaled, checked my mirrors and blindspot, and moved to the middle lane to pass him. Peeked into his car as I passed and guess what? Old man. Ooooooold man.

OK, so I understand that for much of this man's life, roads were probably not as big, highways not as fast. But as far as I know, the right lane has always been the slow lane, and it's never been safe to cut straight across 3 lanes of traffic on a highway without looking or being at a safe speed. I'm assuming that at some age, this man did indeed know the rules of the road, and maybe even followed them. So riddle me this... At what age do you suppose he decided those rules stopped applying to him?? I need to know this, so I can warn the Department of Motor Vehicles to stop renewing my license when I reach that age, because clearly, I'll feel I'm too invincible to stop myself.

Here's another one... my daughter (almost age 4) decided about a year ago to give up naps. She went from napping 3-4 hours in the afternoon to nothing at all. Cold turkey. There are days that I do the bad mom thing, and I bribe her.... if you take a nap, I'll give you candy! No? How about ice cream? Cake? Cash? (Sometimes a mom just needs a break, you know!) This was not working, so I'd instead ask if she wanted to watch her baby sister and finish the laundry, and I'd take a nap for her. She always agreed, and if she was tall enough to reach the buttons on the washing machine, I probably would have actually made the trade. For me, a nap is a precious commodity. There are days that I think I would actually cut off a limb to have few uninterrupted hours of sleep in the middle of the afternoon. At what age, do you suppose, does a nap go from being torture to your greatest goal in life?? I need to know this, so I can plan now for the time when my children (both) actually want to nap, so I can take one, too!

Even though I said I'd cut off a limb for a nap, I know that I can't actually just crawl under my desk in the middle of the afternoon to take one. I prop my eyes open with toothpicks and hook up my caffeine IV drip when I have to... but I know that I'm not allowed to just go to sleep whenever or wherever I want. Which brings me back to the old people...

Ever notice an old person asleep at a time or in a place that seems completely inappropriate? Like at 10am in church, or 1pm at a restaurant, or while in mid conversation with someone? (Wait, does that only happen when people are talking to me?!) I was once working late at a client site years ago, doing a final review (with a US Government client) on a document that was scheduled to be presented to the US Congress the next morning on the agency's Year 2000 Readiness plans. "Bob, what do you think of this line, should we change it? Bob? Bob???" Zzzzzzzz...... Sound asleep he was, head down on the conference table in a room full of executives. Need I tell you he was old?

At what age do I get to stop caring about if it's actually appropriate to fall asleep at any time, at any place, and just get to give in to the urge? I need to know this because some days, I feel really old, and also very, very tired. I need to know when I qualify...

Anyone with answers, please leave a comment. I don't wish to be old, but I do really, really wish for the nap!