The Truth (?) Hurts

My 5-year-old, Rachel, has recently starting making her bed every morning as soon as she wakes up. She does a pretty good job of straightening the sheets and the comforter and arranging her princess pillows. A few nights ago as I was tucking her into bed, I told her how proud I was of her doing this and how it gave Mommy more time to play and have fun with her and her sister when she helped out with the chores around the house.

"So you have too many chores to do, Mommy?" she asked.

"Well, there's a lot we have to do to keep our house running smoothly, so every time you and Sissy help me out, it saves me some time and I've got more time to have fun with you."

She thought for a moment. "So too many chores is the reason you never play with us and you're grumpy all the time?"

Ouch.

Ouch.

And did I mention, "Ouch?"

I didn't know what to say. I wanted to hug her, kiss her, cry. I know I play with them. And I know I'm not grumpy all the time. My husband is definitely the "playful, happy" one on a more regular basis, but that I never play with them and I'm grumpy all the time? Yeesh!

I've thought about it a lot. Lost sleep over it, actually. And what it comes down to is that it doesn't matter if I think I play with them and if I think I'm not grumpy too much. It matters what they think. Their perception, not mine, is the reality, at least in this case.

Don't get me wrong, I've heard more than my share of "you never give me treats" or "you always make me go to bed before I'm ready." And I can live with those. What I can't live with is that my kid believes I never play with her and I'm grumpy all the time.

So the problem, of course, is what to do about it. 'Cause she's right. I focus on the chores, my husband focuses on the fun. I get grumpy when things go wrong or the to-do list is too long, my husband makes it a game or says, "oh well, the world won't end." Certainly no way I can go from my Type A personality to his Type B (trust me, I've spent a long time trying... ain't gonna happen!) but I know I can make changes to play more and grump less. Much as it hurt, I think it just took the smack in the face from my daughter to make me realize I needed to do these things.

I have some ideas... more to come on this blog (and yes, in less time than it's been since my last post here!). I'm planning a "Kat Mini Makeover" (for this and some other things, too) and would love you to join me on perhaps, a mini makeover of your own. If you don't need a makeover (and hooray!! for you if you don't!), I'd love you to follow behind me and kick me when I need it. Stay tuned....