Perspective

Saturday was a crazy day in our house, as Saturdays always are. 4-year-old fell asleep in the car on the way home from dance class registration (she's going to be a ballerina, you know). We let her sleep, but that meant lunch was late - not until around 2:30.

Sitting around the kitchen table to a feast of Kraft mac & cheese with hot dogs, lovingly prepared by my husband, we were surrounded by the sounds of total chaos. 4-year-old (who refuses to eat mac & cheese) had a sandwich in front of her, made from her very favorite things: ham, cheese, ranch dressing (instead of mayo) and multi-grain bread. Alone, she'd devour any one of them in an instant. But stack them together and convince her to take a bite? It would be less painful to have my teeth pulled without Novocain. She was having a melt-down.

1-year-old, who is more than happy to eat anything and everything in sight, was busy launching macaroni and hot dogs off the tray of her high chair and onto the floor, all the while screaming because Hubby refused to hand her a bottle full of water he was drinking from.

Doggie was hiding under the table, trying to stay out of the middle of all this, though occasionally venturing out to gobble all the food that was landing on the floor in front of him. Hubby and I, trying to hear each other over the screaming, were trying to figure out what we did in life to deserve the constant drama. We deserved a vacation, we decided. Better yet, a nap.

Hubby and I spent the rest of the weekend trying to navigate the waters of our busy, insane, LOUD household, and made frequent comments to each other about what a zoo our place was. In spite of the fact that 1-year-old is truly the happiest, cutest child to ever walk (er, crawl) the face of the earth (biased? me?), she is a complete and total menace. A true troublemaker and into everything, I think her motto in life must be "the louder and messier, the better." 4-year-old, who happens to be amazingly beautiful and much smarter and more articulate than the "average" 4-year-old (again, no bias!), is also the most dramatic person I have ever met in my life. There is no such thing as black & white with her... it's all very complex shades of gray, which she will explain to you in excruciating detail, and then sob like she's lost her best friend when her own perspective is even half a shade off from yours. By Monday morning, I think Hubby and I were both almost relieved to go back to work.

And then on Monday, I read about Miles.

Click on the link, read his story. If you're short on time, this one from Anderson Cooper (of CNN) sums it up the best. Trust me, it'll help you put your life in perspective, and very, very quickly.

Last night, Hubby again made a comment about the insanity that is our life together. I'll tell you, like I told him... I'm glad for the insanity. I'm thankful for the togetherness. I'm grateful for the time we have, insane or not, and never again will I wish myself away from it, even for a nano-second.

"The way I see it, we're not entitled to one breath of air. We did nothing to earn it, so whatever we get is bonus. I might be more than a little disappointed with the hand I've been dealt, but this is what it is. Thinking about what it could be is pointless. It ought to be different, that's for sure, but it ain't. A moment spent moping is a moment wasted." - Miles Levin

Read the article. Get some perspective. Then go on enjoying your amazing, blessed life. I know that I sure will.

At what age?

Here in the U.S., we drive on the right side of the road. (Well, drunk celebrities don't count... we're talking about average people here.) On a road with 2 driving lanes, the right is the "average speed" lane and the left lane is for passing. On a road with 3 or more driving lanes, the right lane is for the slow-pokes, the middle is for average speed, and the left, well, still the passing lane.

This morning on my way to work (3 lane highway), I watched a giant white Cadillac enter the highway from an on-ramp on the right side of the road. Rather than staying in the right lane until he picked up speed and could safely move left, he proceeded to cut across the right lane, then the middle lane, then into the left lane, paying absolutely NO attention to the fact that he was cutting people off and going about 30 mph slower than everybody else while doing so. A car in the right lane honked at him, a car in the middle lane had to swerve to avoid him, and I (in the left lane) had to slam on my breaks to avoid rear-ending him as he cut me off and then proceeded to break until he was down to a speed of about 40 mph... on a road with a 65 mph speed limit.

Once my heart started beating again (flashback to car accident in February), I signaled, checked my mirrors and blindspot, and moved to the middle lane to pass him. Peeked into his car as I passed and guess what? Old man. Ooooooold man.

OK, so I understand that for much of this man's life, roads were probably not as big, highways not as fast. But as far as I know, the right lane has always been the slow lane, and it's never been safe to cut straight across 3 lanes of traffic on a highway without looking or being at a safe speed. I'm assuming that at some age, this man did indeed know the rules of the road, and maybe even followed them. So riddle me this... At what age do you suppose he decided those rules stopped applying to him?? I need to know this, so I can warn the Department of Motor Vehicles to stop renewing my license when I reach that age, because clearly, I'll feel I'm too invincible to stop myself.

Here's another one... my daughter (almost age 4) decided about a year ago to give up naps. She went from napping 3-4 hours in the afternoon to nothing at all. Cold turkey. There are days that I do the bad mom thing, and I bribe her.... if you take a nap, I'll give you candy! No? How about ice cream? Cake? Cash? (Sometimes a mom just needs a break, you know!) This was not working, so I'd instead ask if she wanted to watch her baby sister and finish the laundry, and I'd take a nap for her. She always agreed, and if she was tall enough to reach the buttons on the washing machine, I probably would have actually made the trade. For me, a nap is a precious commodity. There are days that I think I would actually cut off a limb to have few uninterrupted hours of sleep in the middle of the afternoon. At what age, do you suppose, does a nap go from being torture to your greatest goal in life?? I need to know this, so I can plan now for the time when my children (both) actually want to nap, so I can take one, too!

Even though I said I'd cut off a limb for a nap, I know that I can't actually just crawl under my desk in the middle of the afternoon to take one. I prop my eyes open with toothpicks and hook up my caffeine IV drip when I have to... but I know that I'm not allowed to just go to sleep whenever or wherever I want. Which brings me back to the old people...

Ever notice an old person asleep at a time or in a place that seems completely inappropriate? Like at 10am in church, or 1pm at a restaurant, or while in mid conversation with someone? (Wait, does that only happen when people are talking to me?!) I was once working late at a client site years ago, doing a final review (with a US Government client) on a document that was scheduled to be presented to the US Congress the next morning on the agency's Year 2000 Readiness plans. "Bob, what do you think of this line, should we change it? Bob? Bob???" Zzzzzzzz...... Sound asleep he was, head down on the conference table in a room full of executives. Need I tell you he was old?

At what age do I get to stop caring about if it's actually appropriate to fall asleep at any time, at any place, and just get to give in to the urge? I need to know this because some days, I feel really old, and also very, very tired. I need to know when I qualify...

Anyone with answers, please leave a comment. I don't wish to be old, but I do really, really wish for the nap!

The Members Project

OK, maybe a cheap plug since I work there, but if you happen to be an American Express Cardmember (or have ever thought of becoming one), check this out... what a great way to do a little bit of good...

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Broken Record

I went back and re-read some of more recent posts. Gosh, do I sound like a broken record or what?!? "Wonderful husband, wonderful kids, wonderful dog, nice house, blah, blah, blah." While it's all true, the intent of this blog was never to brag about my wonderful life. In fact, I started it for reasons very different than that!


Strange, though, how over time, it's sort of turned in to that. At first, I was a bit annoyed. Not annoyed that I have a wonderful family, but that this blog has become, well, sappy! Yeesh! At one point, it even took me nearly a month to blog because I couldn't come up with a "problem" to blog about. Most people might think that's a good thing, and here I was all annoyed about it. What's wrong with me?!? (Wait, don't answer that...)


As I've mentioned before, I have a very long commute, and my commute time is spent thinking and pondering. If I've had a bad day, I try to decompress before getting home to my "real" life. If I haven't, and I'm not obsessing about the office, I make to-do lists or plan DIY projects or come up with blog ideas. I've really be struggling to come up with blog topics lately, though, because, get this... my life is so good. Huh??


Don't get me wrong, I still have my share of stress and frustration and problems. We all do. But somehow, some way, over the past few months, I've noticed a real change in myself. It's a change I've hoped for, prayed about, and desired for as long as I can remember. A change for the better. A change to be a more relaxed person, a happier person. To really exemplify my favorite motto: Live, Laugh, Love


I'm not sure how it happened, what changed. I'm not sure what triggered it, but I've realized all of a sudden that BAM! I've started to become that person. That infamous happy person. Not just content, but actually happy. Don't get me wrong, you'll never see me bubbly, and I'll never be a Type B. But wow, what a change I see in myself. I like it, I really like it!


There's no moral to this particular post, which started out to be an apology for being so sappy lately. Instead, it's just to point out something I've learned about myself recently, something I've been working on for a really long time. It really is possible to live a life where the "stuff" of life doesn't control you. It really is possible to balance a career, a family, and your own sanity level. It really is possible to have everything you need in life, and to appreciate it for what it is. Wow. Just wow!


So, no apologies for sounding like a broken record, just a statement that I realize I might. But, for very good reasons, me thinks!


I guess now that I've got all that out of the way, I should start working on some different blog post ideas... maybe I'll start with Obama. :-)

Proud to be.... Me

What a nice treat to have a day off in the middle of the week, don't you think? The Monday holidays are nice, as long weekends are good for travel and Sunday BBQs (since you don't need to go anywhere on Monday). But for me, the long weekends usually end up being just that... loooooooong weekends. You know, just one more day of doing chores and errands and other "necessary" stuff that makes the weekend less fun that it should be.

Since having a mid-week day off is such a rare treat, I decided to treat the 4th as a Freebie Day, instead of just one more day of chores and errands... everyone would get to do what they wanted to do, and not what was on Mom's to-do list.

For my (almost) 4-year-old, that meant 3 hours of playing dress-up in the morning, followed by a trip to the pool with Daddy. For my 1-year-old, that meant wreaking havoc all over the house, making messes, and eating, with a short break for a morning nap. For Hubby, that meant watching the History Channel and sports, while children crawled on his lap and asked, "Do you love my ballerina outfit, Daddy?" For me, that meant tackling thing #1 on my Next 5 Things list, cleaning out my craft closet.

The day went really well, and was capped off by both kids taking very long naps, which further facilitated the TV watching for hubby and the closet organizing for me. Woo hoo, what a day!!

Both kids fell asleep late in the afternoon, and were still asleep at 8:45pm. We had promised the 4-year-old a 4th of July picnic while watching the fireworks, so Hubby and I woke up both kids for our promised Family Fun Time.

Fireworks are legal in Florida (you can buy them from giant tents on every street corner), so lots of people put on their own shows. We have a really great setup in our house, in that our master bedroom (on the 2nd floor) has a 9-foot picture window from which we can see fireworks shows for 3 neighboring towns, plus all the fireworks the neighbors are doing. We've decided that, at least until the kids are older, our master bedroom is the best vantage point for the displays.

Our "picnic" was set up on our bed, a king size, so plenty of room for 2 parents, 2 kids and a dog. We spread out a blanket and feasted on chicken nuggets, Cheerios and popcorn. This was an especially good treat for the kids on two counts... eating on the bed and also, no vegetables!

My 4-year-old oohed and aahed at the fireworks, and proudly announced the color of each. "Did you see that big purple one, Mom? Hey Dad, there was a giant green one!" The baby, well, she did what she does best... ate and smiled and ate and smiled and ate some more. I popped in a Lee Greenwood CD, belted out "Proud to be an American" (one of my favorites) and taught my 4-year-old about the meaning of July 4th, how it's America's birthday.

I'm about as patriotic as they come. I donate to military organizations, proudly display the flag and look for ways to better my country. I won't get in to all of it here, but I really, truly am proud to be an American, and I don't take the freedoms I enjoy for granted.

At one point, I went downstairs to get a drink and when I came back up and walked into the bedroom, I found my husband and my 2 girls dancing in front of the window to the music of the Lee Greenwood CD. The big one was laughing at Daddy trying to remember all the words, the little one was laughing because the big one was laughing, and Hubby was laughing because the girls both were. I don't think they knew I was there, but I stood in the doorway and watched them dance and smile and laugh until the song was over. This, folks, is what I'm most proud of... this display of love and happiness, right in my very own home. The 4th of July is great, the fireworks are spectacular, and it's a good time to stop and celebrate all that we, as Americans, have been blessed with. But as I watched my family watching those fireworks, I was reminded of all that I have to be proud of not only on the 4th of July, but every single day of the year. I'm married to a wonderful man, we have 2 wonderful children (and a wonderful dog, too!). We've got food to eat and a house to live in, and enough money in the bank to pay all the bills. I credit a lot of this to the fact that we are Americans, that we have the freedom to make our own choices, and that we have chosen wisely... in our educations, our careers and in each other. But there's a part of me that's going to be even more selfish than that, and say that I had a lot to do with this, too. I'm so proud to be who I am... a wife, a mother, a sister, a friend. And watching the three people I love most dance and try to sing along reminded me to stop and remember that, not just on the 4th of July, but every single day. I hope you stop to think about all you have, not only because you're an American, but because you worked for it and you deserve it. I encourage you to be a Proud American, but also to be a Proud You.

My Next Five Things

In a rare moment of quiet this Sunday afternoon, I decided to do a little blog-surfing and ran into a blog called My Next Five Things. Smitten with the idea behind this blog, I decided to join the 5things Network and start another blog of my own, called Kat's Next Five Things. Check it out, and perhaps you'll also be inspired to start on your own Next Five Things!

PS - I'll still be posting on this blog, too, so don't delete your bookmark!

Insanity

Several people have asked me when my next blog is coming. Well, here it is! Yes, it's been a while since I posted, but I like to take my time mulling over my thoughts before I write them. Several weeks ago, I had an idea for a blog about the emotional baggage so many of us seem to carry around with us all the time, and why it's not as easy to lose our "baggage" as it is for an airline to lose our luggage. A week into mulling this over, I came down with a cold, which turned into strep throat, fever, dehydration, the whole "knock me on my butt" thing. I was down for the count for almost 2 weeks and I sort of put the blog out of my mind. Now that I'm feeling better, though, I'm just not "feeling" that particular blog post anymore. Back to the drawing board for me!

As I was thinking about what to blog next, I came to the conclusion that I had nothing to blog about. It's not that I don't have a million thoughts going on in my head, it's that I don't have anything deep or troubling or insightful to say right now. And then it occurs to me, why do I have to have issues before I can blog something? Why not blog on the "everyday" stuff, too?

So here it is, a blog about my insanity.

When I say insanity, I'm not talking about the clinical definition. I'm talking about all the "stuff" of life that, if you let it, will make you feel like you're losing your mind. I'm talking about those times that, if you don't decide to just laugh, you might instead end up having a nervous breakdown. My husband and I had one of those moments last Friday night.

Fridays I work from home. It's a beautiful thing, since my commute to the office is 60 miles each way. After getting hubby and the kids out the door, I have about an hour of "free" time before my work day begins. Most days, I actually work during this time, but once in a while I use the time to do laundry, clean, etc. Last Friday, I used that hour to vacuum all my floors downstairs (all tile) and pick up the kids' playroom.

Friday night is pizza night at our house, and we'd settled in for dinner around 7pm, since that's when hubby and the kids get back home. As we were trying to corral the kids over to the table before dinner got cold, hubby and I both looked at each other and said, "I'm not even hungry." Apparently, neither were the kids. The little one (1 year old) was busy pulling everything she could find out of drawers and cabinets all over the house, the dog was scratching and getting black hair all over the newly-cleaned floors, and the big one (almost 4) was dumping out bins of blocks, dolls and crayons all over the playroom. So much for our relaxing evening and my nice clean house!

It was definitely one of those moments where, had I let it, I could have crumbled to the floor in defeat at my day (week?) not going how I'd planned... my clean house now in shambles again, dinner getting cold on the table, and an impending weekend of family events and other commitments. But, at the very same moment, hubby and I just looked at each other and laughed. "This place is insane!" I said to him. "Yes," he replied, "but it's our insanity and I love it!"

You know what, he was right. We laughed and hugged and smiled at our insane kids, our insane dog, our insane house and our cold pizza. Sometimes, you just need to take a step back and realize that even when it's insane, it's yours. The fact that we have 2 beautiful kids (crazy as they are), a beautiful home, a really cool dog and dinner on the table... can anyone really ask for more? Insane or not, it's our life, and it's a beautiful one. It's a blessed one. It's one not to be taken for granted.

So next time life gets crazy, when you feel like rolling your eyes or beating your fists or crumbling to the floor, stop and look at it from a different perspective. It might be crazy, but certainly it's never boring, hopefully it's even a little bit fun. Live it to the fullest, laugh about it when you can, and love it no matter what. You only get one go-round in this world, so try your best enjoy every insane moment of it. Sometimes, it's the insane ones that matter the most.